In your dreams...

Ok, honestly! I need to fire myself from this blogging world. I really do suck at it, but what can I say, my life is so ho-hum ordinary. I really do log on and check it about a thousand times a day to see if my friends have lost their seats in the movie theatre, or other such obscundancies. But as for me and my house, just living the dream - right through snooze-ville. With all that said, here's a chuckle for ya...

Yesterday Bridge, Cara and I had a little girls time. We tried to get Alyssa to share in the festivities with us, but she would rather hang with her little ones. Can you imagine that? So here we are, celebrating the pre-birth pedicure ritual, which in all actuality is a story in itself, but not the one I have chosen to blog about today. This story happens at our favorite hang-out, which we probably share with the rest of the world, the nearest Target store. Caramie had a purchase she needed to return, which led us to our positions of waiting in line at the front of the store. We were standing in a circle having quite the conversation about some earth-shattering happenings for sure, when Caramie's eyes got big and she said so very slowly as if she was in shock: I... can't... believe... I... am... seeing... what... I... am... seeing....!!!!

Bridge and I were in shock that she was so in shock and finally figured to turn around and see what might be so shocking. It was just your average american couple, walking hand in hand up the aisle and out the door. Ok, maybe not so average, maybe a little large. Like... I am large and do some shocking things, but even larger and more shocking than me... Like Biggest Loser large and NO PANTS shocking. That's right, you've got it. This gal has on a sweatshirt, but no pants. At first you think, she must be wearing shorts and they've wedged up. But upon windshield wiping your eyes you adjust and recognize that really there is nothing there but some blue undies with red trim. I'm not sure you have this picture in your mind. I'm not talking about skinny-minny with no pants. This lady has legs the size of tree trunks. The kind that is not normal legs. Certainly not the kind you want to wear no pants and show off legs.

Have you ever had one of those dreams that you went to school and about half way thru the day you figure out you forgot to put your pants on? Is that what happened? What could be happening in your life to predispose you to go to the store without your pants? How could you be smart enough to wear a sweatshirt to protect against the cold Utah June weather (another story) but not smart enough to put on pants? How is it that everyone else in the store went on with their normal happenings and acted as if nothing seemed out of place? How is it that the only one of us brave enough to pull out a camera for the priceless picture had a full memory card? How is it that you can't remember what you did 10 minutes ago, but you can't forget the picture in your head that you'd rather not see again?

Well, that's probably enough said about a not so pleasant story. But from one pants-less gal to another, I have one thing to say: Oh... my... hell!!!